


Believe Me

by ellynefics (floofsta_x)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, Guardian Angel!AU, Loss of Virginity, Some Christian Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 03:00:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floofsta_x/pseuds/ellynefics
Summary: Im Changkyun has watched over you all your life–and yet you have no idea. He has a sworn duty to make sure that your unluckiness doesn’t put you in mortal danger. One cold, winter day your paths collide, and after that, nothing is the same. This is a story of how your dimpled, adorable guardian angel falls in love with you.





	Believe Me

“DON’T! _PLEASE!_ ”

Your scream tore its way through the air ahead of your pounding feet. Sprinting had never been a favorite activity of yours, but considering the situation you faced now, that didn’t matter. You raced at top speed along the snow-lined sidewalk, heaving for air and praying you’d be there in time. Focusing on anything else but the boy standing on the icy bridge railing was impossible. His eyes fluttered closed, arms spread, and he looked tired and dejected. The orange waves of his hair rippled in the wind; if this hadn’t been such a desperate situation, you might have thought that he was too beautiful to be true.

Ten minutes before, you had pulled open the fridge in your small college dorm room to the realization that you didn’t have any milk left. _What? Damn it. Oh, yeah, I used the last of it yesterday._ No milk meant black coffee, which meant no coffee, and you very desperately needed caffeine. The life-giving neural stimulation was something you craved at that moment. So, with a sigh you had grabbed your wallet, coat, hat, scarf, and gloves, and bundling yourself up, stepped out into the freezing weather to make a run to the store.

The trek from your dorm to the grocery a quarter mile down required passing over a small stretch of the nearby river, and thus also an iron-railed bridge for both pedestrians and cars. Often, it was slick with ice from both the cold snow of winter and the spray of the ever-moving water below. Long ago it had ceased to be anything more than a passing thought to watch your step. Today, however, when you had rounded that corner and seen the boy you assumed right away to be a jumper, you panicked and dashed madly down the street.

“ _STOP!_ ”

He heard you this time, and his head snapped in your direction. The boy’s startled state made him shift his weight abruptly, and his right foot shot out from underneath him. Giving a cry of surprise, all at once, he was falling, arms flailing–back onto the sidewalk, thank God.

It might have been your imagination, but you thought he was slow to the ground. Not slow enough to be unusual, of course, but there was that extra-half second, from when he started toppling backwards to when he hit, butt-first. “Ow.” he grumbled, rubbing his poor, bruised behind and getting to his feet as you finally reached him, out-of-breath.

You don’t know what overtook you, but you engulfed the handsome boy in a huge, warm hug, as tight as you could make it considering the thick coats you both wore. “Oh–oh my God. I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Were you really about to jump?” Hot tears flooded your ducts as you imagined his body floating lifeless in the icy river. Being a pre-med major, you knew that the cold would have shut him down from the outside in, eventually stopping his heart. That was a fate you wished on no one.

He must have not expected your touch, either, because his eyes widened. An embarrassed blush tinted his cheeks, and his dark chocolate brown irises met yours. “Um, I–I wasn’t–going to jump, actually. I was just feeling the wind in my hair and–sorry I made you panic.” His voice was deep and rich, which caught you off-guard. You didn’t know what exactly you had expected, though.

Searching his face, looking for any hint of insincerity, you finally decided that there was none. You finally let go of the huge breath you were holding in; it rose into the air in a puff of steam. “Ah–alright. I’m sorry too. You looked so sad.”

“It’s been a long day.” The corners of his mouth tipped up, but his voice still sounded heavy and tired. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

It was only nine AM, so for it to already be a long day for him must involve some serious shit. “Ah. Well, um, I’m (Y/N). I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here before. Are you a student?” He nodded. “Yeah, I’m new, but I have enough credits built up from elsewhere to be a second year English major. I just moved into an apartment here and I’m looking for part-time work, too.” His small lips widened in a grin, revealing straight white teeth. “Name’s Changkyun. Im Changkyun.”

A fluttering feeling bloomed deep in your stomach. He was so–beautiful. His smooth, tan skin was clean and unblemished, and you wondered if you touched it, would it be as soft as a baby’s bottom? Your best smile came out, and you hoped you didn’t sound as shy as you suddenly were. “Nice to meet you, Changkyun. What are you doing out on this cold day? Other than standing on the railing, feeling the wind in your hair?”

“Nothing much. Getting some badly-needed fresh air. What are you doing? Other than stopping boys from jumping off bridges?”

You chuckled at his dry, sarcastic joke. So he was one of those kinds of people. “I’m going to the grocery store. I ran out of milk.”

“Ah. Well, is it ok if I walk with you?”

His eyes almost begged you to accept, and you did, your gaze never falling from his. “Sure, I’d love some company.”

“Awesome.” Changkyun turned, and like a true gentleman offered his elbow. You glowed and took it, gently hooking your mittened fingers in the crook of his arm. The two of you struck a path across the cold gray concrete, side by side. He walked slower than you would have on your own, but that was okay. Trails of white spouted over your shoulders, and for a little while neither of you were brave enough to talk.

Changkyun thoughtfully played with his scarf until he finally broke the silence. “I–I think I’ve seen you before. You’re a pre-med major right?”

“Mmhm.” It didn’t surprise you that he knew. Almost immediately upon getting to college, you had made it a mission to become involved with the medical clubs on campus. Many of the older students already trusted you to be an upstanding and reliable public face. “I want to go into nursing and work with children.”

“That’s noble–and adorable. You’d be perfect for it.” His gaze locked onto yours, and you could melt. “You obviously genuinely care about people, and you’re not afraid to show it. That’s the kind of person kids would want looking after them.”

“What do _you_ want to do when you finish college?”

There was a split second of hesitation before the handsome, orange haired boy replied, “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet I guess.”

“Oh, ok. What do you like to do, then?”

“I like to–uh, write. About people and places, and things that happened.”

“I totally see you as an author. Or a journalist!”

Changkyun grinned shyly. “Thank you, but uh–I confess that I’m not sure.”

“That’s fine! You have plenty of time to decide.” A chilly breeze kicked up. Unconsciously, you stepped closer to Changkyun and shivered. The corners of his mouth tipped up gently; suddenly, you were warmer, somehow. He didn’t even have to touch you. The wind was not so biting anymore. It must have changed direction.

 

* * *

 

The two of you rounded the block and were immediately struck by the sight of flashing lights in front of the store. Five police cars, two ambulances, and a firetruck sat there. Emergency staff were in constant motion, talking nervously on radios and pagers as they sprinted from one place to another. Everyone seemed to be cautious and nervous, ducking and covering. The police were still behind their cop cars, guns drawn, and a few bloody people sat shivering on the curb. As you watched, stunned, paramedics lifted someone into an ambulance on a stretcher.

“Oh my God,” you gasped, and took off at a jog down the sidewalk, once again. Changkyun was right on your heels. If there hadn’t been the excitement of what was going on, you might have noticed that he was more floating than running. Every step was barely hitting the ground, and he seemed light as a feather.

A policeman stepped in your path, forcing both of you to slide to a standstill in front of him. “Stop. Please don’t come any closer. We have an active shooter situation here.”

“What?” You gasped in awe, hardly able to believe your ears. “A gunman? In a grocery store?”

“I’m afraid so, ma’am, sir. He’s armed, dangerous and under heavy influence. There are reports that two people are dead and ten injured so fa–”

Right then, several distinct gunshots rang out, shattering the front windows of the store. Instinctively, you clapped your palms to your ears, dropping to the ground. The muscles of your jaw worked in gritting your teeth, preventing you from screaming in either Changkyun or the officer’s ear. Once everything had calmed down, you were trembling something fierce. “I–I suddenly don’t want to stick around…”

The officer, who had valiantly shielded you with his own Kevlar-clad torso, straightened up and nodded gravely. That was all the encouragement you needed. Grabbing Changkyun’s wrist, you hurriedly led him back down the street, ducking around the next available left turn.

Once you were out of view, you stopped, panting, and clung to yourself, goosebumps breaking out on your arms. Your voice came out weak, but you managed to keep yourself from fainting. The adrenaline was still pumping through your veins. “Oh God, I hope everything’s ok.” For a moment, you almost forgot that there was someone there.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” This time you found a pair of arms encircling you and a face close to yours. It wasn’t awkward though, but comforting. You felt like something was protecting you–maybe him, maybe something to do with him.

You had a thought, and flicked your gaze up to the orange haired boy. “If I hadn’t stopped and gotten to know you, Changkyun, I’d be in there right now, lying on the floor with a bullet hole in me.”

“Maybe, yeah. No way to know for sure.” It might have been you, but you thought you saw him smirk a bit. He still had that never-changing smile, but there was a hint more worry on his face. You realized it was for you when he asked, “Are you OK, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, just a bit shaken up. I think. One of those bullets came so close–but it missed, thank God. Are you okay?”

He nodded slowly and lifted his arms off your shoulders, once he was sure you weren’t shivering anymore. “Yes. Nothing hit me either.”

“Good.” You wiped the last bit of nervous sweat from your brow and tried to resume a cheery tone. It came out more sarcastic instead though. “Well–what do I do now about my milk?”

Changkyun chuckled and copied your inflection. “The only thing you’re thinking of is that? I’m not surprised.” He had understood what you meant, though. Looking up at him, you could tell that the gears of his head were turning. Then, after a bit of hesitation, he cleared his throat. “Well, um, there’s a convenience store nearby that sells it. I can take you there if you would like.”

Again, his eyes were seemingly urging you to accept, and you did, nodding vigorously. He was too cute, but also you found yourself enjoying your time with him. You also felt that you owed him something for saving your life, though he really hadn’t. Wait–or had he? It might have been a coincidence. “Ok. Lead the way, then.”

 

* * *

 

He ended up walking you back to the dorms, too, of course, one hand in his bent elbow and a gallon of milk clutched securely in the other. As you pulled up in front of the door to your room, Changkyun turned towards you and cleared his throat. “(Y/N), hey, um, thank you for everything. I enjoyed myself a lot.” From the look on his face, you assumed it hadn’t come out the way he had wanted it to; or perhaps he couldn’t say what he wanted to. Still, you knew that he was genuine.

You smiled at him and nodded. “Not a problem at all. Thank you for the company. You’re a kind person, Changkyun, don’t let that ever change, ok?” Licking your lips, you decided to take a chance. Your cheeks flushed the slightest bit pink as you reached up to plant a kiss on the baby-soft skin where his dimples formed. “Oh, yeah, also don’t go jumping off bridges anymore, please?”

His grin threatened to engulf his entire visage. You thought he blushed the slightest bit, too, but it might have been your imagination. “I can’t guarantee that.” The sarcastic twinge hadn’t ceased to be funny yet. “I’ll be seeing you around, (Y/N).”

All at once you felt suddenly shy, and squeaked out a small “Ok.” Changkyun turned to go, and you took your key out of your pocket and fiddled with the doorknob. If you hadn’t been so busy, you might have noticed that the hanging light fixtures were unexplainably disturbed as he passed underneath.

 

* * *

 

“Ooh! You met a boy!?” Your roommate, Joy, asked excitedly when you told her about Changkyun that night over supper at the cafeteria. She was one of your best friends and you loved her a lot, even though she could be a little overeager; well, actually, very overeager. “Why do you always manage to find the nice ones? You should tell me your secret.” With a whine, she put her hand in her cheek and slumped down in her seat.

A chuckle escaped your lips. “I dunno if there’s anything to tell.” Taking a bite, you chewed, swallowed, and continued thoughtfully, “Besides, he seemed pretty crazy at first.” Talking, of course, about the fact that he had been standing on the railing of the river bridge and you totally thought that he was going to jump in.

Oh, no, the gears were working in her head, and you knew you were in trouble. Joy had a special talent for being a daydreamer and reading too much into things. Her eyes widened, stupid grin growing. “Oh my God, (Y/N), that’s so romantic. You must have changed his mind, made him want to live again–”

“I told you, he wasn’t going to kill himself! He just was feeling the wind in his hair.”

“Huh, yeah, _sure_. You think he’d tell? Especially if he really likes you? No, he wouldn’t.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, batting her eyelashes and acting like she was so smart. “You saved him, and then he saved you–which he did, whether the store shooting was a total coincidence or not. Maybe now he won’t be able to stop thinking about you, and it eventually dawns on him that he’s falling in love!” She twirled her fork in her spaghetti and stuck a bite in her mouth, gaze fixed on your incredulous expression.

“That’s ridiculous, Joy.”

Of course, she ignored you; that wasn’t much of a surprise. “Ah, is he tall, dark and handsome? That would be the perfect cherry on top.”

“I–I don’t know,” you blubbered, face red. The more you thought about what she had proposed, the more sunny it seemed and the more hopeful you got. Why did the idea of Changkyun falling in love with you make you giddy? You had only met him that morning. “How about you tell me what you think?” With a flick of your finger, you unlocked your phone and went to your photos. Suddenly you were glad that you had insisted he take a selca with you.

She was eager, maybe too eager, as you pushed it her way and she leaned over to look. “Wow. He’s certainly handsome, though not tall and dark.” She hummed. “He’s an English major, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said, anyway.”

“I’m sure that you can find some excuse to go see him on a frequent basis. I’ll even help if you need me to. Soon we’ll all be singing ‘Changkyun and (Y/N) sitting in a tree’…”

“Joy! We’re just friends. It’s not like–like that, you know!?” You hoped that the look in your eyes and the blush threatening to fill your cheeks didn’t hint otherwise.

 

* * *

 

Changkyun certainly wasn’t kidding when he said that he’d see you around. Nearly every day after that, you’d be in the library or your favorite coffee shop, sometimes even in the hallways of the English building, and you’d glance up to see a familiar face. Inevitably he’d notice that you had spotted him, then smile and wave. He made your heart melt, and so it took an effort to shyly return the gestures.

The only thing that you regretted was that you were often occupied when this happened. On the rare occasion that you weren’t, you’d jog over to try to talk to him, but in vain; he’d duck around a corner or step behind something and be inexplicably gone. You swore that boy had a talent for disappearing at the drop of a hat.

What you didn’t know was that he was always not too far away. Slumped against a doorframe, he’d be playing with a gold ring on his right hand and fighting with himself. Butterflies went wild in his stomach whenever he saw you, and he loved it yet hated it.

They called your great-grandmother crazy. Everyone passed it off as early senility when she talked about your family’s guardian angel, among other crazy things. She could even go as far as to describe him. He was young and lively, with short brown hair that was always combed back; perfect, tan skin; a wide, long, but handsome nose; deep brown eyes underneath thick yet neat eyebrows; a small mouth that widened into a gigantic smile, tipped by lines to his nose or, rarely, dimples; and last, but not least, a low voice that resonated through his chest. If you had known her, or told of her stories, you would have thought that the description sounded familiar. In fact, exactly like Changkyun.

Yet you hadn’t, and so you were completely in the dark to the ethereal boy’s secret. He was no ordinary twenty-one year old human, but an angel, a heavenly being, placed on Earth for one purpose and one purpose only: to protect. To God his creator, he had pledged his loyalty and devotion to his task.

You were naturally unlucky. A hidden gene caused this, passed down from generation to generation. Each relative of your family had their own guardian angel, who pulled strings behind the scenes to make sure that no harm came to those they defended.

Changkyun didn’t meet you for the first time on the bridge. He had been watching you your whole life, like he had watched your mother, her mother, and your grandmother’s mother before that. In your childhood, he was that neighbor boy who never grew up, but nobody paid attention. He became a classmate in middle school and high school, easily close to you but completely unnoticed (one of the few upsides to being stuck in a young-looking body forever). Now he was a college student. If things went according to plan, once you found a job and husband, and had a family, settling down, the cycle would start again. When you reached an appointed age, he would choose which of your children he wanted to look after next.

Normally, a guardian angel would only need to intervene once or twice in a human lifetime. However, you were a thirteenth generation. People with that number tended to be particularly prone to danger and needing constant attention. So, Changkyun was constantly by your side.

He still had to do normal human things though and upkeep a life, so he was grateful for his built in sixth sense. If something bad was about to happen, it would nag at him. If he caught it early, it gave him enough time to instantly drop everything and assist, or save your life if need be. He was willing to do anything to keep you safe. Once, when you were a toddler, he had given you a little push at the curb outside your house, making you fall onto your bottom and preventing you from running into the street. Another time he had sent another person to distract you in the hall of the high school so you missed a potentially deadly event.

Since the day he had decided to personally intervene and talk to you, he hadn’t been the same. It had been a rash decision on his part in the first place, but he hadn’t expected it to change him. He had always watched you carefully; but now, he couldn’t keep his eyes off your slender figure, beautiful complexion, or smile, that he knew radiated only a fraction of your inner beauty. For a while, he managed to convince himself that it wasn’t a huge problem. He had kept his feelings under check before. How hard would it be to do it again?

Then, one night he woke up from a wet dream and realized that your name was on his lips. After that he didn’t try to deny it to himself anymore. He wondered what it would be like to court you, to become your husband, to have a life and a family with you. He had seen such relationships for hundreds of years but never before had he needed to know what it might be like to have that, himself. All it had taken was the right person to come along, and–it was you.

Unfortunately, he never would be able to do anything about it. In God’s laws for his messengers, it explicitly stated that angels were not allowed to fall in love with humans. Also it was taboo within the community of guardian seraphim to have anything more than filial love with the human you protected. So he bottled his lust up inside and resigned himself to watching and longing and dying in secret, by his own hand. It was only a small sliver of time, after all.

That was why he slipped away though he knew you were eager to talk to him. You’d never understand, and it hurt that it made you sad, but there was no other choice. It was how it had to be. 

 

* * *

 

A few months later, your memory of that snowy day with Changkyun had faded, becoming nothing more than a daydream. Still, each time you saw him, you were abruptly reminded that he was around. There was nothing you wanted more than to catch up, ask how he was doing, see him smile and laugh. As always, though, he slipped out of your grip.

However, he was still protecting you behind-the-scenes. It was almost inevitable that your paths would cross closely again. Neither of you expected that, by coincidence, it would be the same bridge you had met on would that would bring you together.

You were walking to work one fine February morning, a normal routine for you. The familiar was your comfort zone, so you always had a set route you took, relatively out of harm’s way. Preparations for midterm finals were weighing on you, so your nose was deep in a medical book. This was also something you would admit that you did frequently. It hadn’t put you in any danger, yet, so you didn’t think much of it. That would change, today.

The instant your foot dropped off the curb, you should have known, but for some reason you were oblivious. You didn’t realize that you had wandered into the road until the loud blare of a semi’s horn jolted your eardrums. Glancing up, you found that you had strayed straight into the truck’s path. Terror overtook you, and you froze, unable to make a move out of fear. Time to react was up. Giving a strangled scream, you turned away and waited for death.

It never came. Instead, something shoved you over onto the sidewalk. Another body collided with yours, a strong pair of arms wrapping around you. You almost didn’t need to open your eyes to know who it was. What gave it away was the momentary weightless feeling. There was also the extra half-second from when you started toppling sideways to when you hit the ground.

As you finally regained the nerve to peek through your lids, you saw Changkyun glance you over to make sure you were okay. He was panting and out of breath, desperation and relief and something else on his face. Once he was sure you were fine, he got up, brushed himself off, and took off in the direction of town. His track suit passed him off perfectly as an ordinary jogger who had seen the situation and intervened.

“Changkyun!” You called, and scrambling to your feet, caught right up, throwing yourself at his back and wrapping your arms around his middle. It felt like you had finally caught an evasive butterfly.

 

* * *

 

He had prayed that he’d be there on time when the nudge at the back of his head had become a shove and he saw the big truck about to plow over your poor, fragile form. Unbeknownst to you, he often toyed with the odds at times when you weren’t paying attention to where you were going. Lately, though, he had been keeping his distance because of his uncertainty and still-raw feelings, and it had almost cost you your life. In the end he had no choice but to throw himself in harm’s way. He was a guardian angel but even he was powerless against Newton’s law of inertia. Thankfully, both of you cleared the semi, and for a moment he held you tightly to himself. He felt like crying, a feeling he hadn’t experienced in quite a long time. What was happening to him? Did people in love really feel this way? He couldn’t imagine losing you, and especially because of his own foolishness.

Lingering wasn’t an option for him though. So he picked himself up and went on his way, turning away from you. It was hard not to sneak peeks over his shoulder. Until, he heard his name and your running footsteps; then you plowed into him. It caught the angel completely off guard, and he gave an oof and skidded to a stop, trying his hardest not to topple forwards. Glancing down, he watched your slender arms encircle his waist and your hands clutch at the smooth material of his clothes. A warm feeling filled him, and his hand drifted to yours, dancing over the skin before gently clamping around your wrist.

“Don’t leave, please,” You murmured into his back. Despite his determination to separate himself, it melted away as you started to cry. Though your tone was angry, your tears were soaking into his clothing. Every once in a while, your voice would break into a sob, too.

“You’re such a stupid, stupid boy. I want to be your friend, but you won’t let me and tease me–taunt me–with that smile and those goddamn dimples. And then, you have to come along and save me–again, I might add, and you’re ready to walk away like nothing happened. Do you hate me, Changkyun? Did I do something wrong?”

A tear escaped the corner of his eye, then another and another. “(Y/N)–no, no, you did nothing.” Changkyun sighed heavily and twisted around, wrapping you in a warm hug in return. “It’s me, it’s all me.” _I am an angel, but you are perfect._

Later, Changkyun had just gotten home from a trip to the grocery store (ironically, the same one you had tried to go to on the day you had met him), when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

> **(Y/N):** Changkyun-ssi?
> 
> **(Y/N):** Is this you? Please tell me it is

He knew that he would be in trouble if anyone found out he gave you his number, but he really didn’t care anymore at this point. The smile on your face had been irresistible as you had asked. Also, moments before he had made a pledge not to run away any longer. With all the strength that was within him, he resolved to not break it. That said, this exchange would be a gesture of friendship, and only that. So he had agreed to let you text him, and you pulled out your cellphones and traded them, simultaneously making a contact for each other.

Now he hesitantly tapped into his reply box and wrote you back.

> _Changkyun:_ Yes, it’s me
> 
> _Changkyun:_ but maybe I’m just saying it because you asked me to?

> **(Y/N):** omg Changkyun
> 
> **(Y/N):** smh lmao you don’t lose the sarcasm even over text

> _Changkyun:_ Sorry…I can’t help myself sometimes
> 
> _Changkyun:_ Teasing people is so fun and I don’t get to do it a lot

> **(Y/N):** Understandable haha. Apology accepted ;)
> 
> **(Y/N):** Of course you have other friends to talk to right?

Changkyun stopped and thought about some of his angel friends. He always treated them with the utmost respect, even in his closest circle. As for human companions…he had a few of those in his long lifetime, but never for very long. They grew up and grew old.

Replying was starting to get easier.

> _Changkyun:_ yeah, every once in a while
> 
> _Changkyun:_ remember that I’m still pretty new here
> 
> **(Y/N):** Ah yeah, I forgot... I don’t know how you haven’t found a great group yet, though
> 
> **(Y/N):** Instead of hanging around with dumpy little old me haha
> 
> **(Y/N):** You’re so nice and handsome !! O:) Who wouldn’t go for that?

The angel balked at the smiley wearing a halo, but after a moment’s thought, brushed it off as a coincidence. There was no way you could know.

> _Changkyun:_ Stop it, you’re not dumpy, old, or little
> 
> _Changkyun:_ I’m not that extraordinary really  >.>

Compared to some of his friends, yeah Changkyun felt plain. There was Chae Hyungwon, for instance, who was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. Or, also, Shin “Wonho” Hoseok, muscle-bound and well-endowed in the looks department on top of being one of the most adorable angels God had probably ever created. Changkyun had known human females to faint upon seeing them.

Then, you had him, a shorter-than-normal seraphim with too big of a nose and hair that never did what he wanted it to.

> **(Y/N):** Changkyun-ssi!! You stop!! You’re amazing ok??
> 
> **(Y/N):** Plus you seem to have a knack for saving me. I will forever be grateful to you for that

A warm feeling filled his heart. Your appreciation was everything to him.

 

* * *

 

The weeks passed, and soon the school year was over. Changkyun prepared to move to your hometown. If that’s what you ended up doing, he would follow. You didn’t, though, because of an internship you scored at the local hospital. He knew even before you told him about it.

Several days later, he got another evening text from you:

> **(Y/N):** Survived my first non-school day in the dorms!

and immediately following,

> **(Y/N):** Can I come over?
> 
> **(Y/N):** I’ll bring food and drinks~

As the year had wound down, you had started to spend more and more time with him. Now it was to the point that you often hung out at his house to do homework or just be around. He intrigued you more than anything now; you forgot about your initial puppy crush. He was often quiet and stoic, though underneath the surface he had that quick and endearing wit. His smile never failed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and his deep voice calmed the ache in your soul. Constantly, he wore a small gold band on his right ring finger, that his father gave to him.

With every passing day, he, too, came to love you even more. The crook in your eyebrow as you concentrated hard was his favorite thing. He deeply admired your seemingly infinite generosity and every soft smile you gave him. Last, but not least, there was the fact that you always asked if he wanted food before you came over. An angel was exactly like a normal man in that the way to his heart was through his stomach.

> _Changkyun:_ Yay~ Of course 
> 
> _Changkyun:_ Tteokbokki??
> 
> **(Y/N):** Sure c: and another surprise too~ see you soon

Ten minutes later, there was a knock. Changkyun pulled it open to see you there, a wide smile on your face, food in one hand, and–a six pack of beer in the other. Good thing it was a kind he enjoyed. That was another thing about being an angel, he couldn’t get buzzed or high.

You must have seen his wandering eye and his lifted brow. “I thought you’d be up for trying something different for once?”

“Fine with me. I’m surprised, that’s all, just not used to seeing you with alcohol.” He invited you inside and closed the door behind you. “Well, you want to eat now?”

“Sure, I’m starving. And the food’s hot, so why not?”

Changkyun nodded and turned around, disappearing around the corner to the kitchen. Promptly, he returned with two bowls and chopsticks.

You were already settled down on the couch, a cold beer cracked wide open. As he sat next to you and set the dishes down on the table, you tossed one to him and he pulled the cap off of it almost effortlessly, taking a sip. The tart of the alcohol swept across his tongue and down his throat, producing no effect, as expected.

The two of you ate and talked about random things. Including, but not limited to, your jobs (he had found work at the convenience store down the street), school being over, plans for the summer, and plans for life in general, really. Before you knew it, the Tteokbokki was gone and so was two-thirds of the beer.

You had been getting progressively more giggly as the bottles in your hand had gotten emptier. Now, hot blush tinted your cheeks. The conversation had settled down, and you glared, bored, at the tv. “Let’s watch a movie. Something to laugh stupidly at, huh?”

“Yeah, sure.” Changkyun pushed himself up and went to the cabinet that held his personal collection of DVDs. He was contemplating the best one, when from behind him he heard your slightly slurred, bright voice:

“Oh! Changkyunie! Where did you get these? Are they yours?”

He popped his head up, curious, glancing behind him, and his smile widened. You had found the set of round wire rim glasses that sat on the table by the couch. “Uh–yeah, they’re mine. I, um, picked them up a thrift store the other day.” Of course, he wouldn’t tell you that they were from a past generation and had been in his possession for well over a hundred years.

A wide grin on your face, you beckoned him to the couch, and he stopped what he was doing and obeyed. As he drew close you unfolded the earpieces, reached out, and put them on him. He lightly took hold of your trembling hands so you didn’t poke him in the eye, of course. Then you stepped back to admire the sight of the beautiful boy. You seemed to glow in that moment. “You’re so cute. I wanna kiss you.”

He expected a peck on the cheek or corner of his mouth. Quickly he realized that he was wrong, though. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and started to kiss him directly on the lips–a bit sloppily, but genuinely. Changkyun flushed dark red and his eyes went wide.

After a moment you giggled, broke away, and laid your head on his chest. “Ahh, I’m so sorry, Kyunie–I don’t know what just came over me.”

No way in heck was Changkyun brave enough to say anything other than “Um, that’s alright.” The angel couldn’t ignore how you clung to him afterwards, as the two of you huddled on the couch. True to your suggestion, you watched a comedy that wasn’t all that funny but seemed to entertain you immensely. You refused to let him take the glasses off, then insisted that you have a few pictures of him in them before you left.

He laid awake in bed for a long time that night, tossing and turning, wondering if he was deceiving himself. A large part of him was fully convinced that your displays of affection, most notably your kiss, had meant something. He respected the fact that you were tipsy and hadn’t completely been in your right mind, though. Finally, at long last he fell into an uncertain sleep.

 

* * *

 

As soon as he had his phone in hand at 8:35 the next morning, Changkyun sent you the first two things on his mind.

> _Changkyun:_ Good Morning (Y/N)
> 
> _Changkyun:_ I need to talk to you about last night

Well, he meant to send you the first three things on his mind, but the last thought he had didn’t look right over text. With a sigh he deleted the message and retyped it again, differently; still it sounded imperfect in his head.

It seemed like not even sleep would allow him to forget you. Dreams of your voice and the warm touch of your lips had filled his slumber. For a moment he thought that he saw your perfect form at his side, too, underneath the broad spread of his white wing, when he awoke. The vision faded quickly however, and he was overtaken by sadness and loneliness. Still that flame of hope in his chest burned bright. Maybe, just maybe, your answer would be favorable.

He couldn’t find the words to send his third text, but suddenly he didn’t need to as his phone lit up and your name flashed across his screen. A call. He answered almost immediately.

“(Y/N)?”

“Oh my God, hi.” Your voice shook with relief and yet concern, a strange mix of emotions that the angel knew too well. “I was on my way to work and I got your texts. I thought that a call would be better? Anyways, Changkyun-ssi, if this is about the kiss–I’m sorry. I think you’re handsome and kind and sweet and I really–”

“I love you,” He blurted, suddenly, those three words encompassing the entirety of what his third and final text were. “I’m sorry, too, I was going to say that before, but I didn’t know how…” Silence fell on your end. Shivers of nervousness racked Changkyun’s body. He knew that he’d be fine if you didn’t love him back, but somehow he also desperately wanted this not to be a product of a fantasy, for something real with you. He felt like he had waited his entire six thousand year, plus life for this singular moment.

Finally you managed to stutter out, “D–did you say, I–I–”

“I love you.” He repeated, trying to get it through his head as well.

“Changkyunie. Oh my God, I thought I had heard wrong.” The sob in your voice was evident even through the delayed cellphone signal. “I love you, too.”

“Do you want to go to dinner somewhere tonight? I can–um, reserve a spot at that fancy new place downtown–”

“Anything to be with you.”

 

* * *

 

He got off work later than he had expected, but thankfully it didn’t mess with the eight o’ clock spot that he had set for your date. It meant he might not be ready before you were, though. So, he shot you a text to go ahead and let yourself into the apartment when you got there, don’t bother to knock or wait. He’d be out as soon as possible.

It took an effort to not rush through his shower. He had time, but the excitement was overwhelming. The date had been on his mind all day, and he was looking forward to spending time with you as a lover and not a friend. Up until that morning, he would have laughed if someone suggested that he’d be in this place, a romantic. Now it was reality, and he suddenly wanted to do everything he had seen between couples through the generations. Defending and protecting you was his first responsibility. Now he had taken it upon himself to make you feel loved and happy, too.

He finally shut the water off, wrapped a towel around his middle, and headed for his room, whistling a tune he knew from somewhere and smiling stupidly. Out of curiosity, he peeked his head around the hallway door to see if you had arrived yet.

Yes you had, and were on the couch, reading a magazine that was laying around. Your ear must have caught his footsteps because you glanced up and beamed at him. Changkyun had to stop his mouth from dropping open. You were comfortably tucked into a sexy little black dress with a loose, flowing skirt and high heels. That, combined with your light layer of makeup, made you seem like a goddess. (Changkyun quickly banished that blasphemous thought and redirected it somewhere else.)

_I am an angel, but you are perfect._

“Kyunie!” You got up and met him where he was. He felt like a deer in headlights, and then your pink-coated, voluptuous lips were melting into his, naturally. You pulled away with a giggle, makeup covering your blush. His red face was plain to see, though. “Still shy as ever to kiss me, huh?”

“I don’t know how anyone couldn’t be, baby.” He grinned stupidly. Then, heat returned to his cheeks as he realized the only thing separating his bare nakedness from you was a towel. “Sorry, I, um.”

“It’s okay. Your tummy is cute.” You poked it with a laugh. He didn’t miss how you followed a drop of water down past the v of his hips and the fluffy white cloth. Then you were in his arms, kissing him more slowly, savoring his sweet lips. One hand buried itself in the soft hairs at the back of his neck. He wrapped his arms around you and returned your affection, closing his eyes, enjoying the soft, heavenly touch of your embrace.

It took an effort for you both to pull away. “I need some clothes…” He said with a sigh.

“Yeah, you better get some on if we’re going anywhere.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” He waggled an eyebrow. “Maybe I want you all to myself.”

As always, his devilish smile and suggestive tone made you blush and chuckle. “Slow down, cupid.” When he turned to go to his room, you slapped him on the ass, making him jump and nearly lose the towel. He just managed to catch it, and your bright laugh rang in his ears.

 

* * *

 

When he emerged in the gray tweed suit he had bought especially for this occasion, you were back on the couch, reading of course. Like before, his footsteps caught your attention. He was tying his tie when he stepped out into the living room, and this time it was your turn to stare. Of course, you had to steal another kiss from him as well. He seemed as ethereal to you as the first day you met, on the bridge. His wavy orange-brown hair seemed soft and boyish, yet mature. The curve of his smiling lips was nothing less than flawless. Last, but not least, you could get lost for hours in the deep pools of his brown irises.

Changkyun insisted that he drive, or that you and him hail a cab. He didn’t want you to hurt your feet, since you were wearing tall shoes, but really it was fine. It wasn’t that far. So, hand in hand, the two of you walked the five blocks’ distance to the restaurant. From the moment you approached, the place gave off a bright atmosphere, that was also warm and romantic. You wondered how many times he had been by here and thought about how it would be a great date spot. Then, for how long had you been the girl he had wanted to take?

Of course, everything that night might have also been the way you made each other feel. Nothing compared to the simple fact that you were across from him, and you knew that he adored you. Conversation flowed easily, sincerely, with you telling stories from your summer internship so far at the infant ward. He listened with glowing, happy eyes. In return, he related some small anecdotes from his work. Cute kids seemed to like him. Rose, his coworker, sometimes brought her baby girl in and Changkyun had held the little one on a couple of occasions. His sincerity and charm was irresistible.

Only when the waitress came to hand you your plates did you unweave your interlocked fingers.

You took your time eating and talking, but everything was a blur, and before you knew it he was walking you back to the dorm. Pressed side by side, your arms around each other’s waists, everything was perfect. Your feet had decided that they finally had enough of the heels, and they dangled in your other hand. To anyone, the two of you would be the perfect, handsome couple. Changkyun’s steps didn’t quite seem to touch the ground, but you didn’t notice of course. You were too focused on how he was practically bursting with radiance.

Eventually, you found yourself in front of a door, but it wasn’t to your room or even the dormitory complex. No, when both of you looked away from each other at long last, you were in front of his apartment. He turned red when he realized, eliciting a chuckle from your lips. You squeezed his side encouragingly. “I don’t want this night to be over yet, so maybe it’s for the best that we ended up here. Can I stay a while?”

“Of course,” his voice rumbled deep in his chest, almost a purr of contentment. Then he pulled his key from his pocket and unlocked the door, sweeping you inside and flipping on the entryway lights. “Hm, I’ve wanted some chai tea for a while now but they didn’t have any on the menu. Would you want some, too, (Y/N) baby?” He shrugged off his suit jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door, then slid out of his dress shoes, leaving them on the rug.

“Sure.” You followed him into the kitchen, and took a seat at the table as he turned the stove on and filled a kettle with water. He was an expert at measuring out the loose tea and adding it in.

Once it was warming up, Changkyun turned around and leaned on the counter, eyes wandering to you and taking in your figure. Eventually he murmured, “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

You giggled, covering your mouth with a hand momentarily. “Only about ten times tonight, you sop. But I’d very much like to hear it again.”

A huge grin spread across his face, and he shot back teasingly, “Come on, now, did I really deserve that?”

“Yes you did. Because you’re a big, cheesy softie, Im Changkyun.”

His laugh rang out merrily, and in a second he was at your side, grabbing your hand and pulling you up and close. Never in a million years would you have suspected that he was nervous. In his entire existence this was the first time he had initiated a kiss–but he didn’t give off that vibe as your lips connected, and sparks flew. You were acutely aware of his hand in the small of your back.

In no time, it seemed, the kettle started to whistle. After he poured tea into two matching white cups and you added milk and sugar to yours, the two of you retreated to the living room. Changkyun opened some of the windows, and the cool night air flooded in. Nestled together on the couch, you didn’t think you had better nectar in your life, nor a more perfect close to a more perfect date.

Still, the rapidly growing heat at your core told you that this wasn’t the end.

 

* * *

 

Changkyun finished his mug of tea not too long after your sweetened, lightened one. With a smile, he offered his hand; you gave him your empty cup, and he leaned over and placed it together with his on the coffee table.

“Thank you,” your small but certain voice piped up, once the two of you were comfortable. “Being with you is always amazing, but tonight has been incredible.” He glanced down, and you were looking up at him with a peaceful, absolutely beautiful expression.

That same feeling that had overtaken him earlier in the kitchen flooded his heart, and he found it easier this time to kiss you. When you were in his arms, nothing else mattered. The world fell away, as well as his responsibility and shame. Duty or desire? That question was gone now.

Before the both of you knew it, really, he was looking up, as you had straddled his lap. Your tongues curled together in your passionate kisses. Almost instinctively, he ran his hands down your thighs. Goosebumps rose on your skin in the wake of his touch. Meanwhile, your fingertips were on his cheek, caressing his jawline and the soft spot below his ear. When you finally broke, it was only for you to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. Lips brushed his hairline and eyelids, too, before you pressed your forehead to his.

You started to undo the buttons of his shirt, starting not at the top but at the bottom, and in a few moments his stomach was sticking out. He laughed as you poked it and gave him a look of pure elation. “What is it with you liking my tummy?”

“It’s adorable.” You spread your hand over it, and admired the rise and fall at his breathing. “Not to say that the rest of you isn’t adorable, either.”

He leaned forward to kiss you again, and taking your hands in his, led you up to the other buttons, undoing them one by one. The feeling of your soft touch on his bare chest, and lips on his collarbone, made him gasp and his head flew back.

“I’m flattered,” you said, nipping at his ear.

“Wh–”

A gasp escaped his lips as you gingerly touched and cupped his growing bulge. “O–oh.”

The shy smile that flitted across your face belied the unspoken request on your tongue. He could have stopped you then, and might have if he didn’t love you so much. This felt right, and if you wanted something more with him, here, now–he did too. He found it impossible to keep on fighting how you made him feel.

“Do you want–to, go to my room and–”

You bit your lip and nodded, climbing off of him and tugging at his wrist. “Yes, Changkyun, if you truly want me, too.” Eyes fixed almost reverently on you, the handsome boy stood and clasped your hand. You squeezed it gently. “Just, please–b–be careful. Um–this is my first time.”

_I know, baby,_ was his automatic answer in his head, but to say as much to you was impossible. Instead, he murmured a quick “Of course.” It was his first time, too; he’d treat you like a cloud.

More slow, tender kisses accompanied your trip to the bedroom. In the threshold, he finally shed his shirt all the way. Before the two of you disappeared completely into the darkness, you turned to allow him to unzip your dress. He relished in the way your body responded to his lips on your neck and his arm around your waist. Most of all, though, there was the feeling of your clothed desires pressing together.

Your dress fell to the floor by the footboard, and with fumbling fingers he removed your bra, too. He was a force of nature, laying you down and positioning himself between your legs. As he left a trail of rose-colored marks down your chest to your bust, a small lock of hair blew off your forehead, but you didn’t notice. You were already alight with pleasure, lost in the feel of his tongue swirling around your nipple.

He was getting harder by the second, as moans escaped your beautiful, open mouth and you bucked your hips up into him. Changkyun was in awe at how good your hand in his hair felt, and how he wanted to know and taste every inch of you.

It wasn’t until he sensed you were getting desperately needy that he moved on. Letting the rest of his discretion go, he gripped your hips firmly and kept on kissing past your belly, to the thin fabric of your lacy panties. He hooked his pointer fingers in the waistband and started to pull them slowly down your thighs. Finally you lay naked before him, blush tinting your cheeks. Even in pressing his hand to your womanhood, it came away thickly wet. Rubbing your essence between his thumb and forefingers, he straightened up, sitting back on his haunches.

“I want you, Changkyun,” Your pleading eyes met his from across the bed. “Is–is it okay if I–I come and undress you myself?”

He gave a small nod. His expectant gaze caressed your body as you pushed yourself up to your hands and knees, crawling to him. Almost eagerly, you undid his pants, unzipping the fly, pulling them and his underwear down. His long, hard length popped up from the fabric, and you blinked at its size. “You’re so–big…” Rising to meet him chest-to-chest and wrapping an arm around his neck, you took his cock in your hand and began to stroke it.

A groan erupted from his throat, and when you pressed your lips to his, he felt you shiver at the vibrations it sent through your body. When he finally managed to regain enough control to pull himself together, Changkyun sighed, “God, (Y/N), I want you, too.” He was so distracted that he didn’t even notice he had used his maker’s name in vain.

“Then take me, _please._ ” 

Gingerly, tenderly, he swept you up and laid you back down onto the bed, head on his pillow. While you got situated, he dug around in the drawer of his bedside table for the box of lambskin condoms and water-based lube he knew was there. Now, he was glad he had bought them that afternoon, though it had been awkward at the time.

Finally he found them. With slightly shaky hands, he tore open a small, gold square, and kicking off his pants the rest of the way, rolled the protection on himself. He figured that you were already sufficiently wet, but he coated his length in a layer of lube, in case. Only then did he take your hand and a deep breath, scooting up between your spread legs.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked one more time, hovering over you and brushing some sweat-slicked hair off your forehead. It was better to be safe than sorry. Another word of consent wasn’t going to kill either of you.

“Yes. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Changkyun glanced down to your core and guided his cock to your expectant entrance. Your hands clutched at the sheets, even before he was pushing himself firmly in. You gasped in pain; tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you never broke your gaze from his. He could tell that it hurt, so he stopped for a moment, halfway in, halfway out, and reached for the closest loose cloth–which happened to be his underwear. It was perfect for what he needed, though, and he wiped the red drops of blood that threatened to stain the sheets. Then he slid the cotton briefs between you and the bed, to catch anything else that tried to leak.

“Are you alright? Do you want me to continue? We don’t have to. Just say the word.” The orange-haired boy gave you a kiss on the nose.

“I–I’m fine. I think I’m ready for you.”

He nodded and pulled out slightly. Then he was sinking himself the rest of the way in. You were so tight around him, it was a heavenly feeling. He felt himself start to throb even though he wasn’t doing anything. “ _Ah_ –that–that’s all of me, baby.”

“Move a little, please? I want to know what it feels like.”

Wet sounds hit your ears as he repeated his last motion, a bit faster. Then again. Your tears still threatened to fall, but it wasn’t so bad. Changkyun guessed that he had torn your vaginal wall somewhere. After five slow thrusts, he stopped once more. “Still ok?”

“Mhmm. I already love how you fill me.” He met your soft lips, and as it had been on the couch, you got lost in the taste of each other. It wasn’t until you dug your nails into his shoulder blades that Changkyun realized that his hips were dipping naturally to meet yours. Despite your discomfort, his long, determined strokes sent pleasure shooting through your every nerve. Your arms were around his neck, keeping him close. Hot breath ghosted by your ear, and it only seemed to make you shake and shiver more. “Fuck, baby.” So this was what he had been missing–no wonder angels weren’t supposed to mix with humans. This feeling was sheer sin, there was no other way to describe it. Changkyun was coming rapidly closer to his high, the pressure building in his dick.

He wasn’t sure if you’d be ready when he was; he really wanted for you to get your satisfaction out of this as well. This worry melted though when he felt your hand slide between your stomachs to work at your clit. Your ragged breathing revealed that you were closer than he had thought. “I–I don’t know how much more I can take, Changkyunie.”

“Like, as in before you–?” You nodded vigorously, clutching him tighter. “Babe, it’s okay to let it happen. Whenever you’re ready–I’m close, too.” A strange sense of peace settled over him as you placed a soft kiss on his neck, your pussy ever tightening around his hard length. All it took was a few more seconds, and he was at the brink. Giving a moan, Changkyun came, hard, spilling his seed into the condom.

His pulsing deep inside sent you over the edge, too. Your whole body trembled as your orgasm ripped through you. He felt a flash of pride and love at the thought that you were coming undone for the first time in his arms.

Once the high had faded, he didn’t pull out immediately, but waited and stroked your forehead. “Baby, don’t move. Let me take care of you, ok?” In your still-blissed out state, you only hummed, but he knew you had heard. Changkyun made sure to be careful in taking himself out. Still, you sucked in a pained breath before it was over. “Sorry,” he apologized softly and gave you a kiss on the lips, caressing your cheek with a thumb.

You were finally coming down to earth, his gentle affections bringing you back to the present. “It’s nothing to be sorry for. I love you so much, and wanted that with you, even if it meant pain.”

He smiled gently at you, then turned his attention to the full, slightly bloody condom he still had on. In the end he decided that fuck it, his underwear already had red spots, he might as well use them again. Only after he had cleaned up did he proceed to pull the lambskin sheath off and tie it securely (with a little bit of trouble). There was a trash can by the bed and he tossed it easily in.

Then he delicately took your hand. “Can you walk?” Changkyun felt silly asking such a basic question. If it was going to hurt to move, though, or there was a possiblity that you would fall, he didn’t want to take that risk. He’d gladly carry you in his arms.

“Yes, of course,” was your response and you pushed yourself to the edge of the bed, being careful not to let any blood get on the sheets. As he led you into the bathroom, you played with the knuckles and tendons in his hand. 

“What do you need?” He quickly moved you to the bath rug when the sensation of cold tile against his feet made him shiver.

“Um, some baby wipes and a washcloth would be nice. One that you don’t mind me getting makeup on.”

“Wipes are under the sink. I’ll find you a good washcloth, too.” Changkyun turned to the row of drawers by the shower and dug around before finally pulling out a soft, dark blue one. Handing it to you, he kissed you on the forehead. “Take all the time you need, baby. Come to bed when you’re done, ok? I’ll be waiting.”

“Of course.”

With that he nodded and left you to do what you needed.

Laying down and pulling the light blankets over himself, Changkyun ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t yet truly processed everything that had just happened between the two of you. Only now was the weight of what he had done starting to hit him. In the span of a few minutes, he had broken quite a few of God’s laws. Suddenly, his angel identity and the small part of him that was human were at war. He shouldn’t have brought you here, he shouldn’t have taken you to bed–yet he loved you so much. In the end, he decided to listen to the little voice in his head that told him that at his side, you were safe. He technically hadn’t abandoned his post.

In a few minutes, you crept in the room and crawled under the sheets next to him. Your hand came up to rub circles on his back. Rolling over to you and press you close, he took it delicately. Then your lips met with slow animation.

“I hope morning never comes. I want to stay here forever.” A radiant smile graced your features; your breaths still mingled in the closeness.

“Me too.” That moment was especially painful for Changkyun. Someone was going to find out about this, eventually. Actually, God the Father definitely already knew. He saw everything. The orange-brown haired angel often wondered why he hadn’t already gotten a summons from the seat of heaven. Usually, discipline issues (which, among angels, were few and far between) got addressed immediately. For the level of sin he had committed, death was the only just punishment. There was no other route or alternative. But he couldn’t think about that now. He was here, pressed against the only woman he had ever loved in almost seven thousand years. He would try his hardest to enjoy every second.

You yawned, giggled, and if it was even possible, snuggled deeper into him, too. “Hm, or maybe falling asleep here won’t be too bad.”

“It’s been a long day and night. You need your rest.”

Nodding in agreement, you took a deep breath and your eyes fluttered shut. “Goodnight, Changkyunie.”

“Goodnight, my angel.”

The fleeting thought crossed his mind that if things were different, you would be the one calling him that. Before long, your breathing settled into a nice easy rise and fall of your chest. Changkyun couldn’t stop staring at your peaceful smile.

_I am an angel, but you are perfect._

 

* * *

 

“Changkyunie–! Stop, baby. It tickles.”

In your sleep, a chuckle flew from your lips. Reaching your hand up, you tried to brush away the prickling sensation at your temple. Perhaps it was a only dream or something on your skin. Either way, you were sure that your boyfriend was leaning over you, a playful grin on his lips. The tips of his hair were gliding over your cheek and brow, light enough to feel, but not fully waking you.

“I said stop, silly boy–ah–ok, I’ll pay attention to you–”

Morning light filtered through your eyelashes, letting you know that a new day had come. Despite the lingering ache between your legs, your heart fluttered and soared at your first, sleepy thoughts. The warm, naked body at your side reminded you of the night before and where you were now. This was hopefully the first of many times waking up next to the man you loved more than anything: Im Changkyun.

When you were with him, you felt safe. Not just because he had saved you, either; there was the understanding, too. It was bliss–he was bliss. The memories from the night before came flooding back, so surreal now: the date, drinking chai tea on the couch, making out. Then you had allowed him to take you to bed. No doubt had crossed your mind in that decision. If it wasn’t for the pain, you would have thought it was a dream, like the one you had been having before–

_–before the tickle at your cheek jerked you awake._ Your eyes shot open. Wait, so was Changkyun really–? No. The long, slow breaths he was taking made it clear that he hadn’t yet escaped the clutches of slumber. As your vision cleared, you came to the realization that his head was on the pillow, not too far away. You lifted your hand, only to encounter something that had you doubting reality all over again.

Feathers. A curtain of them fell across you, long, soft, and shining white, reminding you of a peace dove. Every once in a while, they would shift, brushing your face and creating the feeling that pervaded your dreams.

A wing, resting lightly on top of you. Almost protective, but relaxed, lazy, even… Suddenly, desperately you were trying to decide whether this was still the work of your subconscious. Running your fingers through the soft fibers and then over the bone at the top, you followed it over and down.

It led straight into Changkyun’s back. Your hand began to tremble. He was so beautiful laying there, facing you, a small smile gracing his features and tan skin glowing ethereally. You reached around to find a knot, where the muscles bulged from these fifth and sixth limbs. He stirred and shifted at your touch, but didn’t wake. It didn’t take you long to realize that another, identical wing protruded from the opposite side. It stretched out across the bed and partially hung over the edge.

Though a part of you didn’t want to believe it, another had you thinking about that first day on the bridge and the extra second in his fall. Then, the momentary weightlessness you felt when he had saved you from the truck. Finally, there were your wonderings of if his feet ever touched the ground when he walked.

“Changkyunie,” you murmured softly and pulled him closer to plant a few kisses on his jaw. Then your lips moved slowly against his, in an attempt to wake him up.

A little while passed, but at long last he did, eyelids fluttering open. “Baby.” One hand wandered to your cheek, and then your mouth. Relaxing your jaw slightly to let his fingers in, you gently pressed them in the pillows of your red lips.

The warmth must have wakened him the rest of the way, because suddenly he became aware that you were stroking the soft curve of his wing. Jerking away, fear and confusion flitted across his face.

Keeping your voice low and calm, you tried to comfort him. “It’s okay. I’m not scared. They’re beautiful. Are you an angel?”

He slowed from his momentary panic and laid there for a while, flushed red. Suddenly it was hard for him to hold your gaze. At last he swallowed and nodded. “Yes, I’m an angel. Your guardian angel.”

It made sense now, you thought and sucked in a sharp breath. Nothing had been a coincidence. Not meeting him on the bridge and arriving at the grocery store after the gunman, not his sudden appearance to save you from the oncoming truck. Last, but not least, not how he seemed to be around a lot of times. Still, you slowly had to question, “My guardian angel…?” He nodded, eyes slightly misty. “Yes.”

“What a secret to keep…your wings are so huge, how do you hide them?”

“My father’s ring. It must have fallen off in the night.” Twisting around to pick up the small charm from the bedside table, he slid it on his finger and rotated it clockwise about forty-five degrees. Instantly his wings melted into nothing, rendering him “human” again. Still, now that you knew he had them, it was obvious. They displaced when they moved. “If I turn it more I can make them completely go away, but it hurts me to have it like that for too long. So that’s why I only do it around lots of people. It also allows me to turn invisible, but that’s painful, too.”

“Can you fly?”

He let out a chuckle. “Yes. Why else do you think I was standing on the bridge railing the day you met me?”

“Oh.” You supposed you should have thought of that before. “On the day I met you?”

“I’ve known you and watched over you your whole life. Since childhood.” A peck on the forehead accompanied this quiet affirmation. Your mind reeled.

“Wait–so how old are you exactly?”

“Six and a half thousand years, give or take. I technically existed before time did, so I can’t give an exact number.”

Unable to stop the gasp that flew out, you squeezed his hand. “Wow. You waited and watched and–you loved me?”

“Yes, but not always like this. Since I first talked to you that snowy morning, I’ve fallen so hard, (Y/N).”

You were overtaken by a hot rush of eager love, and surged forward to meet his soft lips. Eagerly, your tongues danced together, neither of you ashamed at the sloppy, wet noises it made. He still was Changkyun in looks, speech, and taste, and you hadn’t woken up, so now you were sure that it wasn’t another sweet dream. A trail of saliva stretched between you once you’d had enough and broken away. “I–I fell in love with you, too, my guardian angel.”

 

* * *

 

Changkyun’s body was weak, and his heart beat overtime, tears pooling in his eyes. Despite the fulfillment of his fantasy, when you had woken him up with gentle kisses and light touches, fear pervaded his mind. Fear, that you would fade away and he’d be alone, left to his own passion and longing. It took the memories of the night before to come rushing back for him to know that he wasn’t fooling himself.

Then stark realization settled in his gut that you were under the spread of his wings, as he had always imagined it. His ring was gone from his hand, and you stared at his plumage in awe. He had been so scared in that moment that you wouldn’t accept him the way he was, wings, duty and all. Yet, you had. Joy settled within him, but he was still restless. All at once, it hit him why. You were in danger.

It wasn’t like times before when you had needed his saving touch, though. This was a deep, deep dread, permeating his every nerve, making him fall limp. Panic overwhelmed Changkyun. He was helpless against it, and sobs broke forth from his chest, even as you admitted your love.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I–I can’t stay.”

“What?” His heart sank as wrinkles crossed your brow, a wave of confusion clearly clouding your mind. “Why not?”

“I’m not supposed to fall in love with a human. I’ll be put to death.” You grew pale, the blood draining from your face as he turned away, his lips trembling, unable to look you in the eye. “And they’ll kill you, too.”

“What–Who, Changkyun?”

“The others.” You would no doubt suffer the same fate as him. This was a sin too great to forgive. “My brothers and sisters, the archangels…”

“They haven’t found us yet. Can’t we not let them? Just tell me what we have to do, I’d give anything up to be with you!” Desperation laced your voice; it obviously hadn’t hit you yet. He didn’t blame you, this was so much to take in at once.

“I can’t ask you to. It would be hopeless. There’s no corner of the world we could run to where we would be safe. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I have to make this right. I–I have to turn myself in.”

“But–I don’t want you to leave. Not so soon, not ever. I’d be willing to keep moving–give up everything–all I want is you.” You wrapped him in a vice grip, his chest becoming slick with tears as you started to cry.

Still he shook his head and moved to kiss your crown. “Please, I can’t ask enough, you have to vehemently deny that you love me. It’s the only way. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Unfortunately, that means–without me. I’m just a lowly seraph. But you are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met and I would never be able to live with my time in hell if I got you killed.”

“No!” The force with which you pushed back caught him off-guard. Your fists beating into his chest were sure to leave bruises. “Why are you so stupid? Can’t you see that I want to spend the rest of my life with you? I’ll never find anyone that even compares! Dammit, Changkyun, you’ve got me so fucked up, and now you’re going to break my heart on top of that!”

“Ok, ok!” Giving a sigh he took a deep breath. “Take this, then. It’ll protect you from their gaze.” He slid the gold band off his finger, and once more his wings covered the two of you, white feathers filtering the light that came from the outside windows. Changkyun took your right hand and gingerly put it on your ring finger. It resized automatically to your proportions, and you gasped at it. The coolness of the metal must have been calming; your eyes returned to him, puffy and red but no longer crying.

“I’m so, so sorry, (Y/N). I have to go.” He sat up partially and managed to smile through his own tears. Sweeping the hair out of your face, glance lingering on you, his last loving bedroom murmur was, “You’re more beautiful than the moon and stars in the sky, and any words that could come from my heart…Thank you for everything. I will always cherish your love, though it was only a moment in the flow of time.”

 

* * *

 

Sending you off was the hardest thing he had ever done. He made sure to steal as many desperate kisses as he felt possible. Meanwhile, he pulled some underwear and jeans on his body, and helped you to hurriedly gather your clothes, too. You threw them on, and went through the familiar apartment to the front door. His gold band graced your right hand, untouched since he had put it there. “Don’t come back, whatever you do, okay, baby? There are going to be heavenly authorities here in a few days, taking my things so that they can destroy them. They’ll know about you and be looking for you, and I don’t want you to risk hanging around.”

“Please tell me you’ll be okay, Changkyunie.” You tried to keep the sob out of your voice, but failed.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in for a long, slow kiss. “I–I’m not going to be okay. I’ve broken the laws and–and I don’t get the graciousness of a fall, like Lucifer. Don’t expect me…Oh, babe.”

You were pounding into his shoulders again, salty drops running down his chest. He stood fast against the attack, taking your abuse. He supposed that he deserved it though. You had just spent your first night together–he had even taken your virginity–and he was sending you away, never to see you again. No promise of safety came from his lips, no words of comfort.

Yet he sensed your anger failing fast, replaced by slow tears of sadness only. “I–I can only pray.”

It was this implied promise that ran constantly through his head as he climbed the cloud-lined steps up to the pearly gates. He trembled at the thought of his doom. If he had been any less loyal and loving toward you, he would have returned to sweep you somewhere far away in his arms. It was a strange way to think, but he considered this his last act of undying love. Doubtless, you would find another human you adored, have a family, and live a long life. With him, that wouldn’t be possible.

A single angel standing guard allowed him through. His feet took him to the Meeting Place, the hub of angel affairs, almost of their own accord. Many stood and smiled and waved as he passed them, but he gave no response or greeting. He didn’t want them to regret their kindness later as news of his confession spread.

Finally he was shifting nervously in front of the desk of Archangel Levi, the high-ranking seraphim who kept the logs of Angelic Infractions. He had been at the Trials of Lucifer, even the final ones, and stood close by during the Fall. Since then, he had been the one who kept the record of wrongdoing. He was the one to report to at any suspicion of sinful activity among the angels. “Yes, Im Changkyun?” Levi blinked slowly and looked up. His triple set of gold wings caught and reflected light as they moved.

His cold tone made Changkyun swallow nervously, but he picked the pieces of himself back up. Clearing his throat, he stated, “Hello, Levi. I–I would like to report a dire violation of Guidance Nineteen.” The Guidances were the rules that the Lord laid down for his servants. Twenty-four main articles made up the main body of them, and it was imperative that every angel know them. Certainly, not to the extent that Levi did, but the basic promises and oaths, everyone committed to memory. They were the highest law.

“Nineteen…Banning love between immortal and mortal?”

“Yes.” Changkyun kept his gaze firmly fixed on the brown eyes of the archangel. His hand and feather pen scratched out the report into a log: the date, the seraph to report, and the Guidance number.

“You understand that something of this nature is not to be trifled with.” Levi’s gaze flicked up to the handsome guardian angel’s. “This is a serious infraction, especially if it is dire, as you implied in your statement to me.”

Swallowing, Changkyun did his best despite his suddenly-dry mouth. “It is, Levi. It even involves–carnal intercourse between the subjects in question.”

The Archangel sucked in a breath. “We haven’t seen anything quite that serious for a long time. Well then,” Pressing his mouth into a line, Levi nodded. “Who is the immortal?”

“I am.”

The seraph could only gape as Changkyun held his hands out and together, folding his wings in, a gesture of surrender and submission. Levi was so stunned that he was unable to write, and a drop of ink blotted the old, yellowed page of the ledger.

 

* * *

 

Word spread quickly through the ranks. From those who had been standing near, others heard, until every seraph had received the news.

_‘A guardian came to Levi and confessed to breaching Guidance Nineteen.’_

_‘What–? Who?’_

_‘Im Changkyun. They’re taking him to the throne room now to confirm if it is true.’_

With strong straps of leather tying his hands, Changkyun quietly followed two guards. Hair hung over his eyes, gaze following the dips and patterns in the ground. He knew that their destination was the bright marble chamber that held the Father’s throne. It was a test, to see if what an angel claimed was true. If they had broken the Guidances and thus also their own purity, it would be obvious in their inability to stand God’s holiness.

The door was wide open, and a messenger stood at the entryway. One of the guards muttered in his ear and the angel turned on his heel, disappearing into the long room. A minute later he was back, nodding to the three waiting that it was fine to enter.

Changkyun felt it the moment he stepped in and came into contact with the brightness of his maker. The burning, all over his body. In horror, he watched as his skin started to bubble in spots, turning red and flaking off. It felt like he was about to burst into flames from the inside out. No pain he had ever felt could compare. His feet wanted to run away, but determinedly, he gritted his teeth and forced himself forward. Then he fell to his knees in front of the throne, where so many had done it before. “Father, I have sinned, broken one of your good Guidances.”

_Indeed you have, Im Changkyun. Do you have anything to say in your defense?_ The voice floated through his head, clearly coming from the blinding light in front of him. He couldn’t directly hear it though.

Quite literally, Changkyun was melting. The pain might have broken other seraphs, but he didn’t have anything to break over. He just kept silent, shaking his head slightly and picturing you in his head. The thought of laying next to you in bed, your beautiful smile and sparkling eyes, would be his sustenance until the end.

And then he was being grabbed roughly by the arms, flesh burning even as they dragged him away. He was guilty, beyond a doubt. His seared body was evidence so plain, it was irrefutable. Now the angels would have to decide his punishment.

For now they took him to the prison house, which was really nothing more than a wall with two hooks for shackles. When they had clamped strong circles of iron tightly around his wrists, Changkyun slumped against the wall and sighed, gritting his teeth to stave off collapsing from the pain of his reddened skin. He was still an angel, he’d heal fast, probably just in time for his death.

 

* * *

 

It seemed like an eternity. However, it was probably only a few hours tops before strong arms once again hauled Changkyun to his feet. His leather bindings chafed his already-angered wrists. In silence, the burly guards led him to the Convergence Hall, where ranks of seraphim were waiting, and dropped him in the center. All the heavenly host were present except for those on active duty. He was before a row of tall marble podiums. There the archangels presided, their eyes boring into him with ferocity. Changkyun dropped his gaze and tried to calm his breathing.

Levi of course was the one presiding, and his voice boomed through the space. “Im Changkyun, today you have revealed your true heart to your fellow seraphim. You came to me and clearly admitted to breaking Guidance Nineteen. In case you need a reminder, it reads, ‘No immortal being, male or female, shall have romantic thoughts toward a mortal, male or female. Passionate and sexual love with mankind is strictly forbidden’. This in itself is terrible enough, but to make matters worse, the human woman you love is the one whom you have protected and guided since birth. What have you to say for yourself in light of these accusations?”

“I stand before you guilty as charged, yet unashamed.” That was all. Changkyun dropped his head and fell to his knees, sending pain shooting through his entire frame.

The hall broke out into uproar. It took a few solid minutes for Archangel Ruth to calm the throng down. Her gaze swept Changkyun. “This seraph knows what his sin is, and yet feels no remorse. He does not regret, as he said so clearly, even going as far as to protect her from her due punishment. His Divine Band is missing from his right hand–even now, she wears it. Due to his actions, she remains untouchable.”

_Good,_ swept through his head, and he gave a small sigh of relief. You were safe, and that was what mattered.

“Despite the fact that he turned himself in, and I do have respect for him for that, it is my firm belief that death is the only acceptable remedy in this situation. His spirit needs casting down into the realm of Lucifer, to burn forever. I am sure that the high council agrees with me.” The other gold-winged seraphim almost immediately nodded. “Yes. Then, we must decide how soon.”

This was where the rest of the heavenly host came in. Majority opinion became clear relatively quickly. After everything, Changkyun had three days before he met his fate. Three days to stew in his memories, to think before he passed on. The wait sounded worse to him than the death itself.

Then it was back to the “cell”, shackled to the wall. Not like he needed it. Even if they hadn’t paid any attention, he would have still been there. He longed for you, yes, but he knew that for you to be truly safe, he couldn’t be at your side. He had to die.

Sixty hours passed, slowly, agonizingly.

 

* * *

 

Changkyun honestly didn’t expect visitors, even in the last hours of his life. Too much shame was on his shoulders; who would want it on theirs as well by associating with him? More than one, it seemed; in fact, six. Each appearance sent a stab of surprise through his heart.

Hyunwoo was first. Many also called him Shownu, and he was well-respected among Seraph. He had a lot to lose in his visit, but he said that no one knew. That comforted Changkyun a little. His quiet strength and affectionate nature was still so obvious, despite the fact that he was sitting next to a condemned friend. Hyunwoo didn’t say much, but his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders did more for the weeping boy than anything else.

Then Minhyuk, light, soft and handsome. He didn’t dare come near, but stood a ways off, tears trailing down his cheeks. It seemed that he could only stare at the drooping form huddled against the wall, under lock and chain. Changkyun stared in return for a little while. He had strong memories with the normally-silly and bright guardian. Just the fact that he had come set Kyun at ease.

Kihyun seemed so angry in his words and actions when he came around to pay his respects. Yet, Changkyun felt the worry and sadness in it too. “I never in these six thousand years imagined anything like this from you! Falling in love with a mortal woman. Sleeping with her. You chose this death for yourself…I hope you’ve repented.”

Wonho. His full, beautiful lips pressed into a line and he paced restlessly for a while. Finally he too took a seat beside Changkyun and sighed. “This is going to sound so weird, but–I don’t want anything bad between us.” To this, the younger boy shook his head and leaned against the Seraph’s muscled shoulder. There had never been.

Tall, beautiful Hyungwon. Changkyun had always loved his hugs, and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his friend in one. Long skinny limbs held the miserable angel close. The younger boy cried unashamedly as Hyungwon’s chin rested on the crown of his head. Slow drops there revealed that the normally-stoic and sleepy angel was weeping silent tears, too. Still, with an unbroken voice he whispered affirmations that everyone would miss him. True, anger and disbelief lingered that he had betrayed his kind, but many also wondered why it had to be so.

Finally, last but not least, Changkyun saw a shadow and glanced up to the sight of Lee Jooheon, his best friend and partner in crime. Despite some animosity between them at first, they had warmed to each other and become partners in crime. Jooheon alone had some knowledge of Changkyun’s love for you before it had come to this. The platinum hair the taller Seraph sported was a new development. It looked good on him.

“Everyone told me that you haven’t been talking. So I guess I’ll say what I wanna.” Jooheon took a seat on the cold floor, cross-legged, across from Changkyun, and let out a sigh. “Why’d you have to give her your Divine Ring? She’s so hard to follow now. Also she knew almost the instant I laid eyes on her.”

“You’re hunting her.” Changkyun’s voice cracked. “So that’s it, huh? What an irony.”

“No, that’s not the case at all.” Jooheon shot back. “No one’s told you? She’s cleared of blame. They decided that you misled and deceived her, and it technically isn’t her fault for this mess.”

Changkyun’s gaze dropped, and he turned away. Well–at least you were safe. He tucked farther into himself, head between his knees.

The taller angel sighed. “I’m protecting her now. I took over your spot as her guardian.”

Suddenly Changkyun felt a flash of jealousy. It really didn’t matter now, since he was going to die in a few short hours anyway. Of all the protector seraphim that existed in their millions, Lee Jooheon, his best friend, had succeeded him. He’d be able to watch you and rejoice in your life, see you every day. Changkyun had admittedly not been able to stop thinking about your face and your touch, wishing that he could be there for you. He wanted to wipe your tears and reassure you that everything would be ok. Even if it was simply to alter the odds once more, like before he had fallen so desperately in love with you.

 

* * *

 

After leaving Changkyun’s apartment that morning, you had ran to your room and cried. An odd mix of emotions swirled through you. Sadness and disappointment, of course, that he was suddenly gone. Anger, that he had dropped the bombshell on you with no warning or hint. Fear, that he had somehow made up the whole thing and that’s how he let go of every one of the girls he slept with.

But your true fear was much worse: that you would have to live the rest of your life without Im Changkyun. Moving into the future was scary and unthinkable now…it tore you up. Tears soaking your pillows, your sobs continued for long hours. Many earnest, pleading prayers left your lips and floated heavenward (or at least, you hoped).

Later that day, someone reported your sobbing to the summer RA and they came to do a welfare check. You pulled open the door and tried to suck in your tears, insisting that you were fine. It was the kid’s doubtful glance that got you to start piecing yourself together. Changkyun had said that he wanted you to live your life to the fullest. So, you would.

You decided that your first step was to shower and move on. Do homework, stare mindlessly at a TV screen, sleep the evening and night away. You were willing to do anything to get your mind off the fact that your heart was currently on the floor, crushed into a million pieces. Some girls found fuckboys who dropped them as soon as they were in their pants, had to split from a long term love because of life circumstances. But you, your best friend and lover had turned out to be a goddamn angel. He had gone to receive his punishment for your sake.

The next couple days was a constant struggle to keep yourself as distracted as possible. You buried your nose in textbooks like it wasn’t the first few weeks of summer, building up your determination to live for your internship.

Walking to the hospital the next day, it would have been fine and peaceful. Except, for the fact that as you crossed the bridge, you got the sudden feeling that someone was watching. A flame of hope flickered in your heart for a moment, only to extinguish when you turned to see a boy lounging on the other side of the road, back to the railing. He was handsome, but not as much so as Changkyunie. He had huge white wings, too, and his hair was only a couple shades darker. His full, meaty lips twitched playfully, and he had a thick physique. True, his gaze wasn’t directly there, but you were sure that you were the object of his admiration.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that you had spotted him. Both of you froze. Every muscle in his body was tense as he paused, rooted to the spot with a surprised look. Meanwhile, you struggled within yourself, caught between running away and trying to approach.

A long few seconds passed. Then, with a stroke of his wings, he was rising gracefully into the air and sailing down the street, the way you had come.

You spun and kept going toward work, but afterwards you couldn’t get your encounter out of your head. He was certainly an angel. Why did he have his wings out? More than that, why hadn’t he seemed to want to hurt you, but simply observe? Was he another guardian? Maybe they were still wanting to protect you. Or maybe, Changkyun had asked him to look after you in his stead. The shift finally came to an end, and as you made your way back to the dorm, you had your nose in a book. One of the doctors had let you borrow it. Mainly it was field material, and vastly interesting. The sun was just setting over the horizon, and you were also passing over that goddamned bridge again. Strange things always happened there, for some reason. The burn of the same eyes from earlier was so apparent. This time you didn’t pay any attention, though, because of your distracted state.

_Chink. Clatter._

Popping your head up from the book, with a jolt you found yourself lazily leaning into the road, about to drop off the curb. A little ways down the street, the platinum haired angel had kicked a soda can into your path. (If you had kept going, you would have stepped on the discarded aluminum and realized where you were.) He was about to turn and leave, but a sudden wave of determination swept through you. Gritting your teeth, you took off toward him, managing to grab hold of the base of his wing.

The angel freaked out, violently almost. As he whipped around, his eyes widened and he uttered a single profanity. He jumped five feet in the air, it seemed, too. “Who are you?” Was the only thing you thought to ask as he doubled over, clutching his chest in shock.

“Ah, yeah–nice question– _who are you._ ” His gasping voice was barely audible; as he straightened up, it became stronger. “I could ask you the same thing, honestly. More than that, who the heck are you that you can see me?”

“Wh–what is that supposed to mean? I–I always saw–”

“Yeah, yeah, right.” Clearly exasperated, the winged boy gave you a massive eye roll.

“What’s an angel like you doing here? Do you want to catch me or kill me or send me down to hell to burn in everlasting torment–?”

While you were trying to get your frustration out, something seemed to dawn on him, and his gaze drifted down. Suddenly, he reached forward, grabbing your wrist and flicking your hand up.

“–the _fuck_?” You snatched it back, but not before he had gotten a perfect look at Changkyun’s ring.

“ _Holy_ –you have a Divine Band.” His jaw hung open, voice containing no trace of the sassy, annoyed personality he had just a moment ago.

“Ah–yeah? Im Changkyun gave this to me, do you happen to know that name?”

“Cha–Changkyun. Whoa. Hold on.” He turned again, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “That means that you must be–the girl he–”

“Loves?” It was an almost hopeful question, breathless; you wanted to hear anything about him.

The white haired angel simply nodded.

“W–well, are you here to take me away and kill me? He told me that if I wasn’t careful–”

“No, no. I, uh–” He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “I’m Changkyun’s–replacement. I guess. heh. Jooheon’s my name.” His wings folded in, other hand joining the one that already rested on his hair. “This is so fucking ironic…”

“You have a dirty mouth for a heavenly messenger, Jooheon,” You tutted, frankly. “But–what do you mean by that?”

“Changkyun and I are–were–best friends. That is, before he defected and–”

“Has he been executed?” Before you could stop it, you blurted the question. Your eyes glazed over as the dam holding back your emotions threatened to burst. Awe and disbelief still permeated you at this whole thing. This seraph’s confirmation made it a little more real at least.

The boy saw you were struggling, and he softened, pulling you quickly into a large, warm hug, with no hesitation. “No, but–he will be, tomorrow. It would be, uh, something like three o’ clock pm here.”

He let you sob into his chest for a long time, holding you close and rocking you gently. Everything that had happened in the last six months swirled through your head, but one thought pervaded it all:

_I would rather burn than live without Changkyun._

 

* * *

 

Jooheon agreed to take an unbreakable oath that he would protect you through thick and thin. He also promised his best friend that he would make sure that you didn’t cry too often. Changkyun felt so much better as the taller seraphim left. You were in good hands, and your progeny would be as well.

Now the only thing left was to count down the minutes until someone would come and deliver him to THE END. He would be the first in that crumbling building in over a thousand years. It was a terrifying prospect, going to the place where immortals died. Yet, Changkyun wasn’t worried in the least. He was ready, accepting, even. Still, the wait was agonizing. His dearest wish was for it to be over with already.

A single, soft set of footsteps approached. Changkyun turned, holding his wrists out willingly, convinced that someone was here to lead him to his final fate.

However it was no guard or archangel. No, instead he got the shock of his life. As well as he possibly could in his bound state, the angel fell to his knees and then flat onto his face. “My Lord,” He murmured.

There, standing in front of him with a gentle smile, was the Christ himself. He was nothing like the man displayed in earthly paintings. Indeed, he was radiant, but not handsome, and with a shade of melanin even darker than Changkyun’s. Still he shined brighter than the angel prostrate on the floor. The seraph almost expected his skin to start to burn.

Jesus of Nazareth let out a chuckle. “I may be God, Changkyun, but I am still a man also. You have no reason to be scared.”

With a nod, the angel sat up, looking up at the Son. “Do you bring me to THE END?”

“No. I am here for a very different reason.” Much to the seraph’s surprise, the other man sat down on the floor before him, legs folded. There was a moment of silence, almost as if Jesus was pondering what he wanted to say next. Whatever it was, Kyun was all ears.

Finally he spoke, softly. “How much do you love (Y/N)?”

Changkyun searched his eyes; a hearty, warm feeling filled the angel. No wrinkle, no blemish on Christ’s visage gave away that he had ill will or intent behind the question. “Very much,” the angel answered finally, at a loss for any other words.

Jesus wore an expectant smile as his follow-up was, “Enough to give up your immortality to be with her?”

“Yes,” Tears threatened to overwhelm Changkyun, and he stuttered. “Yes, of course, without hesitation. In a second. But–what are you saying–?”

“Changkyun, why do you think that I allow you and the other guardians to live on Earth, among the mortals?”

“Because then we can keep close, ready for the moments that they need our aid. Am I wrong?”

“No, you are not.” Jesus chuckled. “But that’s only part of it.

“Despite the emphasis placed on my love for mankind, my servants and messengers are also deeply embedded in my heart. I wish nothing more than for your happiness–of your own free will. “Guidance nineteen was not handed down to keep beautiful things apart. Many, even the Arch-seraphim, have forgotten about the Nephilim.”

The word itself jogged Changkyun’s memory. Bleak scenes of angels in shackles came back to him. They were prideful, vicious immortals who reached THE END much faster than he did. Yet, the true problem was the children they left behind on Earth. These were the Nephilim. From a young age they loved sin and damning, blasphemous things including murder and idol worship. This was why the Father had to cover the earth in water for forty days and nights, trusting the fate of a good mankind to Noah.

“Power was the only thing behind their black-hearted relations with mortal females. They wanted to leave a legacy in their bloodlines, rule mankind from heaven forever. Meanwhile, more of their half-immortal sons and daughters were coming of age.

“But you are not tainted so.” Changkyun had known the kindness in Jesus’s face since the beginning, but now it bloomed. “The adoration, devotion and love you feel in your heart for (Y/N) is because she is your everything. In deciding to have a friendship with her, the love in your heart grew. Naturally that led to romance, and yes, even sex. These are the ultimate professions of love; and you have no reason to worry. After all, you did not do them out of blind lust, like the fathers of the Nephilim long ago.

“Of course your conscience didn’t know this. You felt guilty, so you gave up a future with her for her sake, coming here for judgement. Unfortunately, my father was unaccessible because you did break the Guidance, and the archangels have lost sight of the true meaning of it. So you were wrongfully sentenced to death. You were ready to surrender your life to give the woman you love a second chance. That is one of the highest acts of selflessness, Changkyun.”

The angel’s cheeks burned a little, but he sat captivated, unable to look away from the big brown eyes of Christ.

“So I am here to ask you, once more: do you love (Y/N) enough to give up your immortal form and live with her on Earth?”

 

* * *

 

Two forty-five pm.

Calling in fake sick and taking the day off had been a no-brainer. (It wasn’t too hard to sound sniffly and scratchy when you were a pre-med student.) One little white lie was enough, you figured, to buy you enough time. Not that you risked getting caught, anyway. The only thing you wanted was to mourn properly. Sitting and languishing in your sorrow, pajamas, and hoodie all day was the only thing you could imagine.

Jooheon’s words still stuck closely to you: “No, but–he will be…something like three o’ clock pm here.” It made you so fucking depressed, knowing that Changkyun would be gone in just a few short hours. Would you know when his flame went out for good? Was there a part of you that was truly 'one flesh’ with him, after he took your heart and your virginity? Would it die when he did? You didn’t want to think about that.

Constant, unceasing thoughts ran through your head, flooding your senses along with memories. They permeated so thickly that you didn’t feel your feet carrying you to the bridge before you were there. You jolted to reality to find yourself looking out over the edge into the cool flowing river. Your fingers absentmindedly played with the ring on your right hand, twisting it exactly how Changkyun used to, in shifting through his physical states.

Two fifty-five pm.

Would drowning be a peaceful way to go?

Giving a cry of incredulity, you shook your head and buried it in your hands. No, not that–he had said, you still had a life to live. Besides, you had another guardian angel now who cared about you. Even now he was probably throwing himself into action. Knowing him and his slightly reckless ways, he wouldn’t hesitate to fly in and save you if you tried to jump. Yet– I would rather burn than live without Changkyun.

Perhaps you were acting like a silly schoolgirl, but you honestly didn’t give a fuck. You had given him your entire self, unashamedly trusted in him. That wasn’t something you did easily. His saccharine kisses still lingered on your lips. It took everything you had to not burst into sobs at the memories.

If only you could see him again, one more time–maybe if you perished at the same time, you would be able to hold hands through Hell’s gate.

You knew you were being unreasonable. Still, you climbed up on the iron railing, balancing in the middle of your feet. Arms spread wide, eyes closed, you waited for the next gust of wind to push you over and into the waters below.

“–DON’T! _PLEASE_!”

A familiar voice entered earshot, as well as the sound of pounding feet. 

“ _STOP_!”

_Changkyun!?_

Faster than you would have thought possible, your head whipped around. Desperately, you prayed that your ear wasn’t deceiving you. The tears cleared slower than you wanted–

Suddenly one foot was flying out from underneath you. Giving a cry you wavered and toppled: backwards, thank God. Your head spun, flailing for a thought for the briefest of moments, before you were crashing into something–or rather, someone. Strong hands took the brunt of the landing, snaking around your shoulders. It prevented you from smacking your head.

Then someone turned you around, and a beautiful pair of lips met yours. On top of the shock of the fall, your breath left your lungs. Still, you summoned all your energy and met them back, as vigrorously. Everything was surreal.

Seeing him there and tasting him once more was dreamlike. For a moment, waking was your greatest fear. However, when you opened your eyes once more, he was still holding you in his arms. Sobs of joy burst from deep within. “Changkyunie, baby, you’re alive.”

He nodded and smiled. “Yes, I’ve been forgiven. Now I can be with you.”

“But–you’re an angel–”

He gingerly took your hand, your palm up, first showing that he wore no ring. Then he instructed you to feel his shoulders. Nothing. His wings were gone. “I’m mortal now. The only thing I kept is the little nudge in the back of my head when you’re in danger.”

Your watch said three o’ clock.

He should be dead, but by some miracle he was here holding you. Emotions overwhelmed your heart. You poured your love and tears onto him. Holding him tight, you never wanted to let go, not now, not ever.


End file.
